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You can call me Hal.

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Stargate S5 Roundup 2

Season 5 was a bit odd, I thought, but it did have its moments.

Between Two Fires
Narim kills a guy just so he can see Sam again. But Sam's all, you're like a brother to me, unless you can do that glowy alien brain sex thing. Which I sort of thought he could, but I guess he's just not as good as the really, really hot alien was. The Tollan government is evil, but it turns out that it's really Tanith, since nobody as technologically advanced and creepy as the Tollan could be evil on their own. Teal'c doesn't get to kill Tanith and it makes him cranky. Tollana gets blown up or something. Jack and Daniel are really cute in that shot that's in every vid about them.

We thought they diverted the Galactic Spay and Neuter Programme once already, but I guess they have to do it again, thus removing the need for a recycled from Star Trek original episode idea. Daniel and Teal'c do some farm work and visit an ancient city to read newspapers. We find out that Calvin and Hobbes is not original to Earth. Sam puts another notch in her belt for a dead boyfriend. All the notches cause the belt to fall apart and she has to get a new one. I'm sure Jack and Daniel were cute at some point.

Desperate Measures
Sam is kidnapped by Montgomery Burns who wants to harvest her fresh young organs for his personal use. Or something. Daniel helps Jack use the Internet so that Jack and Harry can team up to save her. The Jack and Harry show is the Best Buddy Show Ever. There's snark and danger and illusions of betrayal but Harry would never betray his Jack. I don't even remember what Teal'c did in this episode. Beat up people, probably. Daniel is ticked off because he thought Jack was finally over Thor and now Harry shows up.

Wormhole X-Treme!
There's a TV show about the Stargate program. They've cast Kevin Sorbo as O'Neill and Jack is pissed off. It turns out that Marty the Alien from last season is responsible. Sam and Daniel play Mulder and Scully. Sadly, things are more root beer than ice tea between them. Teal'c gets a second job in food services to make ends meet. Jack and Daniel have hot monkey sex. (Well, probably.)

Proving Ground
The SGC body count is so high that they're training new recruits all the time just to keep the numbers up. A bunch of cadets have a live-training exercise within the SGC. We and they are supposed to think its a real life emergency, but nobody buys that for a moment. Daniel complains that he always has to be the evil overlord. I am bored.

48 Hours
Teal'c gets his big moment of revenge against Tanith! We're on the edge of our seats for their epic battle...and Teal'c makes Tanith's ship crash and that's it. I guess hand to hand combat would have been too much for us puny humans. Teal'c gets trapped inside the Stargate and it's Jack and Harry to the rescue. Daniel is so miffed he goes off to Russia with Paul Davis and they boff like bunnies every minute they're not in negotiations. The Russians present them with the security tapes as a gift. Sam gets paired off with a brilliant scientist, McKay. The government is hoping to breed them into a race of super-scientists. But Sam thinks he's a jerk so she refuses. Besides, he's not an alien. Jack and Daniel make up, probably.

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I love these. Your Stargate roundups always just give me enough to remember the episode AND make me laugh.

They crammed Jack/Sam down our throats in season 4, but in season 5 it's all forgotten in the glory that is Jack/Daniel. No explanation, just change.

And yes, Harry/Jack is tasty!

Thanks, sweetie. :) The Jack/Daniel simply abounds.

The Jack and Harry show is the Best Buddy Show Ever.

Sing it, sista! I adore these two together. Maybourne gets my vote as the Most Improved Previously Lame Villain Ever (OK, maybe the second prize after Lilah). The sad thing is that there is no fanfic about Harry. I begged piteously for someone, anyone, to write me An Amazing Adventure of Jack'n'Harry, all to no avail. I mean, I understand nobody wants to imagine Harry nekkid, but who said there had to be sex? I'll be perfectly happy with more snark and shooting and reluctant bonding.

Personally, I'd do Maybourne in a second. But I agree, I don't really want to read about the Jack/Maybourne sex. They are better slashy than slashed, I think. They should definitely have Amazing Adventures.

Sam gets paired off with a brilliant scientist, McKay. The government is hoping to breed them into a race of super-scientists.

*snigger* I like your version of S5 better.

But you forgot to mention that Daniel rolls up the sleeves of his dress shirt in Russia.

I just think that bears mentioning, is all.

The oversight is shocking! And as barkley mentions below, I also forgot Jack's bare arms in another ep. Clearly, I don't appreciate them as I ought. Perhaps I need to spend hours staring at naked arm pics, until I'm more attuned to their pumped perfection.

I think Daniel did that just to seduce Paul. Give him a little wrist, a little forearm. The tease.

Mostly wonderful, as always. If everyone feels the Jack/Harry, why does no one write it?!

But They've cast Kevin Sorbo as O'Neill and Jack is pissed off just broke my brain. It has absolutly nothing to do with the total hatred for Sorbo. Really.

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I know.

I think Sage_theory did one but haven't read it.

I know. I made her write it.

I have OTP, too! I have lots of OTPs! J/D and J/H and D/S and D/Sh Jack/Thor and Sam/Thor and Jack/Sam/Thor and Jack/Hammond and Jack/Jacob and Sam/Hammond.

No, I don't know the meaning of the word one. Why do you ask? :p

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Sam/Thor? EEEEEEw! UR nasty!!!1!!11!!1! Thor ONLY luvs Jakc cuz hes gay.

OMG!!!! Sam/Thor is the OTP!!!!11one!!! How can you say such nasty things? *hits you over the head with a foam trout that Sam caught when she was fishing with THOR so there and HA*


Stargate is the fandom of many pairings for me. Well, except for this *one* OTP... *g*

Mostly wonderful, as always.

That made me giggle. :) Maybe "mostly wonderful" should be my new tagline.

I think Jack/Harry is a perfect example of a pair with great onscreen chemistry that no one really wants to see go any further. They just need lots more oppotunities to snark at each other.

Jack and Daniel are really cute in that shot that's in every vid about them


I've used it!

Also, you neglected to mention how Jack sends secret love messages to Harry in Desperate Measures by uncovering his arms for the first and only time in all of SG history.

Clearly I have some sort of arm-neglect! But now that you mention it, I do recall noticing it at the time. A little skin to get Harry interested! No wonder he was so upset when he thought Harry had shot him.

Hee! I love your version of the epis. Vastly more entertaining thatn anything the Candy Boys have comne up with *and* theyr suit my pervalicious inclinations all the more.

Daniel is so miffed he goes off to Russia with Paul Davis and they boff like bunnies every minute they're not in negotiations.

Ha! See?! It's practically canon, I tell ya! I would kill for that videotape.

/nods sagely and look smug

I totally thought of you when they headed out on their Russian jaunt. *licks your icon* When they were talking about the room being bugged, I just knew they were discussing whether or not they should do it right there.

Yes, exactly! They're such a naughty pair of minks! Besides, if Jack can get a little on the side from Harry and Thor, surely Daniel is entitled to a litle extracurricular lovin' as well. And Pookie Davis is more thn happy to accomodate him.

I agree so much I've been trying to write some Russia pr0n. But it's just turning out boring. I need to get a new angle on it, something more than "Daniel is tired and upset so he wants sex to keep his mind off things".

Yay! Russia pr0n!!

/bounce, bounce

I never managed that myself; the closest I got was milehigh, post Russia pr0n. This is good work you're doing, hal, and I'm happy to cheer you on.

Mmmm...D/P smut. Yum!

But I need to break through my block of boredom! Tell me, what's hot about Daniel and Paul? Besides the fact that their pretty. That's what I've got to figure out. Plus then I can do my bit for the Blame Widget campaign. :)

Hmm, must make a Paul icon. That might help.

Hmmm...what's hot about them...?

Well, to begin with, you've got Major Davis, the model officer. So professional, so reserved, so very in control. Still waters run deep, and it's very easy to imagine him as a carefully closeted gay with a lot of passion hidden away and sublimated into his work ethos. For Daniel, this would pose an interesting challenge. All that control would certainly be a temptation. How do you smash through that reserve? What kind of man resides behind that facade? I think Daniel's curiosity would be piqued by Paul who is a cipher in a ot of ways. He is similar to Jack in certain things: the sense of duty and commitment, yet so different in other ways: Jack is far more open, looser and whimsical. This would also intrigue Daniel.

Then, OC, there is all that UST. Paul really does seem to be mooning after Daniel. It's kind of cute, God bless. He wants him, but he's afraid to make his move because he respects Daniel? fears Jack will kill him? doesn't think the attraction is mutual? I'm a sucker for UST and since everybody give Daniel to Jack, the sheer novelty of Paul, the underdog, winning his heart is very appealing.

Does that help? OC, if you want a glimpse at how wonderful they are together, go read Anais' "Scratch". Be warned: it'll scorch your eyebrows off, but it's well worth it.

Anything else I can do to pimp the D/P love? I'm always happy to help. :-D

Jack and Daniel have hot monkey sex. (Well, probably.)

Miriam and I were disappointed that they split them up for this one. They gay! The gay gayness! They stole our gay gayness!

I know! And it wasn't even to give either one of them a new boyfriend. That I could have understood. Jack was grumpier than usual without his Danny-bear along, poor thing.

And here I thought you'd become a Stargate fan. *g* I'll ponder my request overnight and sign up in the morning. W00t!

SG-1's good too. Jack/Daniel - purrrr. But, you know, all the great writers have gravitated to Harry Potter. ;)


Hee! I was in HP before I'd even seen Stargate. *g* But I never seem to leave fandoms, just add on new ones. Which would explain why I'm so stressed right now.

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