Season 5 was a bit odd, I thought, but it did have its moments.
Between Two Fires
Narim kills a guy just so he can see Sam again. But Sam's all, you're like a brother to me, unless you can do that glowy alien brain sex thing. Which I sort of thought he could, but I guess he's just not as good as the really, really hot alien was. The Tollan government is evil, but it turns out that it's really Tanith, since nobody as technologically advanced and creepy as the Tollan could be evil on their own. Teal'c doesn't get to kill Tanith and it makes him cranky. Tollana gets blown up or something. Jack and Daniel are really cute in that shot that's in every vid about them.
We thought they diverted the Galactic Spay and Neuter Programme once already, but I guess they have to do it again, thus removing the need for a
recycled from Star Trek original episode idea. Daniel and Teal'c do some farm work and visit an ancient city to read newspapers. We find out that Calvin and Hobbes is not original to Earth. Sam puts another notch in her belt for a dead boyfriend. All the notches cause the belt to fall apart and she has to get a new one. I'm sure Jack and Daniel were cute at some point.
Sam is kidnapped by Montgomery Burns who wants to harvest her fresh young organs for his personal use. Or something. Daniel helps Jack use the Internet so that Jack and Harry can team up to save her. The Jack and Harry show is the Best Buddy Show Ever. There's snark and danger and illusions of betrayal but Harry would never betray his Jack. I don't even remember what Teal'c did in this episode. Beat up people, probably. Daniel is ticked off because he thought Jack was finally over Thor and now Harry shows up.
There's a TV show about the Stargate program. They've cast Kevin Sorbo as O'Neill and Jack is pissed off. It turns out that Marty the Alien from last season is responsible. Sam and Daniel play Mulder and Scully. Sadly, things are more root beer than ice tea between them. Teal'c gets a second job in food services to make ends meet. Jack and Daniel have hot monkey sex. (Well, probably.)
The SGC body count is so high that they're training new recruits all the time just to keep the numbers up. A bunch of cadets have a live-training exercise within the SGC. We and they are supposed to think its a real life emergency, but nobody buys that for a moment. Daniel complains that he always has to be the evil overlord. I am bored.
Teal'c gets his big moment of revenge against Tanith! We're on the edge of our seats for their epic battle...and Teal'c makes Tanith's ship crash and that's it. I guess hand to hand combat would have been too much for us puny humans. Teal'c gets trapped inside the Stargate and it's Jack and Harry to the rescue. Daniel is so miffed he goes off to Russia with Paul Davis and they boff like bunnies every minute they're not in negotiations. The Russians present them with the security tapes as a gift. Sam gets paired off with a brilliant scientist, McKay. The government is hoping to breed them into a race of super-scientists. But Sam thinks he's a jerk so she refuses. Besides, he's not an alien. Jack and Daniel make up, probably.