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You can call me Hal.

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I don't just have invisible readers, I also have invisible fangirls who loooooooooove my fics and wear their hair like mine and think that I can do no wrong.

I have invisible minions who tenderly upload all my fic to my many invisible archives and draw me invisible fanart and send me invisible mix CDs.

I have invisible enemies who post invisble trash talk and flames about me, but my invisible fangirls back me up every time.

I have invisible evil cohorts who plot with me to take over fandom and bend everyone to our will and force them to bow down and worship us. (Oh, I guess that's actually kestrelsan and laurashapiro. Did I spill the plan too soon, guys?)

I have an invisible bodyguard who keeps the invisible masses away from me at cons and beats on my invisible enemies.

I have an invisible girlfriend who looks just like Drew Barrymore and who has steamy invisible chat sex with me.

Also a cat.

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You forgot to mention your invisible icon!

Hee! Yes, it was just right for this occasion.

Yeah, but mine are better.

Hee! Are you currently accepting applications for invisible minions?

*tries to sneak past the invisible bodyguard*

Sure, just fill out this form:

Ooh! Ooh! Is the cat invisible too? Does it catch invisible mice? Do the invisible fans write invisible fanfic of your fanfic?

An invisible cat? Whoever heard of such a thing? And there's a special invisible archive dedicated to the invisible fanfic of my fic.

Ho hum, you have invisible readers and invisible bodyguards and-


OK, OK. I don't really have a cat.

I just pretend.

Shit. You know about us?

*is so embarrassed now*

I have special X-Ray vision that enables me to see all invisible things, Cloaks and Rings of Power notwithstanding!


I have an invisible plane like Wonder Woman.

You know, that plane always seemed pretty pointless since you could always see her sitting in it. Or was that just so we didn't have to look at an empty frame in the comic book?

does this mean that I'm invisible? Because that would be awesome because then I could sneak onto the Smallville set when they are filming and watch Michael Rosenbaum get undressed dressed. Being your invisible fan has SUCH perques!!!!

And you could see his Shiny and Sinister Hook!!!

Or maybe I'm all confused again.


You also have a way with words and a healthy fantasy life. ;-)


Hee! "Healthy", you say... *g*

I have more invisible readers than you do.

And I have two cats.

Oh yeah? My ivisible readers are twice as big. And my cat can beat your cats any day of the week.

Have I mentioned that you amuse the hell out of me? I so enjoy your posts.

if i were given to bouts of emotional expression, i might ... lavish some on you. but i am not, so i will not.

i just try to draw some comfort from the knowledge that i might indeed also have invisible minions and friends (apart from my invisible enemies and fiends of course) ... oh and a kitty *feels around and strains to hear purr*

Just don't let anyone sell you any invisible clothes. :)

You've told the world! You do realize that now we're going to have to make good on our threats? Quick, you set up the machine, I'll get the poodles dipped in yogurt...

Ah, yes. And the comfy pillows...

> I have invisible enemies who post invisble trash talk and flames about me

gawdammit, I am SO fucking busted.


I always knew it was you. That noise just outside you door? The monkeys are coming for you.

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