So, as I said before, I was at a con that was not Vividcon this weekend. It was, in fact, a gaming con where I spent most of my time either roleplaying (D&D) or eating at IHOP. I normally game once a week with my regular group and we all went down to the con together in a most excellent road trip. As the saying goes, I go to cons to game with my friends.
I won't bore you with tales of my exploits, because, my god, nothing is more tedious than gaming stories. But I did have some thoughts about the gaming community and the fannish community and men and women that I wanted to blather about.
So, the fannish community is predominantly female. The gaming community is predominantly male, but not to the same extent. We in fact have 2 women in our 6 person group right now. But OTOH, at the con, aside from one non-D&D game I played, I didn't play with any women other than her.
I remember thinking about some of the women that I did briefly meet or see and saying to myself, the women at gaming cons are so weird. But when I really started to analyse that, I found that it wasn't true. I think there's a greater weird::non-weird ratio among female than male gamers, but still, it's not even 50-50. It was just my perception. And I wondered why I was thinking like that.
In the fannish world, I interact with women just fine. I get along with them, I enjoy hanging out with them at fannish get-togethers and online. In the gaming world, most of my interaction is with men. And when I do meet a woman, I feel like I don't know what to say to her.
I think a good part of it is the Queen Bee syndrome. When you're a female gamer, especially if you're usually the only one in your group (which I have been for good long periods of time), the male gamers tend to defer to you, even if you're not stunningly gorgeous. You get extra attention. You have power. So when you get another woman in the mix, who is probably the Queen Bee in her group, it can be a little tense.
Probably when I meet another woman at a game con, I see her less as a comrade and more as a rival, even if I don't articulate that to myself. You'd think we'd bond, but not so much, at least not with me.
Now we did have an all-female game in our home community last year and there was no tension there, just a lot of booze and hilarity and ribaldry. But there were no men for us to be tense over, so it's not surprising.
And now to my question: do you think the same thing happens in fandom with men? There aren't many men in the slash end of the pool and the ones who are here are, I believe, deferred to, much like the women in gaming. So, when two men meet at a media con, do they bond or do they feel some competition? (I suppose in a perfect slasher world, they'd fuck, just like in a perfect male gamer world, the women would. *g*)