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Halrloprillalar

You can call me Hal.

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For you, with love, from me.
drew
prillalar
(I still have a bunch of comments to answer -- I'll get to them tomorrow.)

I don't celebrate Christmas. Or any other December holiday. I do look forward to the solstice, but that's just because the dark days make me so tired and cranky.

But because I love you all so much, I have added five holiday-themed templates to the Drabble-Matic. They're just mixed in with the others, so you may have to reload a bit to get one. If you get a good one, feel free to post it in the comments so I can read it! (And let me know if you see any weird errors -- I tried to proof them, but I probably missed something.)

Here's mine:



The Miracle Of The Dolphin

Momoshiro hated Christmas. He didn't just dislike Christmas, he hated it like a song that goes on and on and never ends even though everybody wishes it would. He loathed it.

Every December, Momoshiro would feel himself getting all ugly inside. He refused to put up a Christmas cellphone, he snapped at anyone elfin enough to sing a carol in his vicinity, and he never, ever bought anybody any presents.

On December 13, Momoshiro had to go to the mall to buy an awesome lamp. When he got there, there were so many shoppers pushing fussily around and so much Christmas music blaring nervously, he thought his elbow would explode.

Finally, he was done. Just outside the door was a sexysexy man collecting for charity. Momoshiro never gave to charity, so he started to walk past without a word.

Suddenly, the sexysexy man dropped his bells and ran under the rug. There was a silky dolphin right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the sexysexy man slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!

Momoshiro rushed out and hotly pushed them both out of the way. There was a flaky bang and then everything went dark.

When Momoshiro woke up, he was in a horrid room. There was a Christmas cellphone in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also, Momoshiro's hair hurt. A lot.

The sexysexy man came into the room. "I'm so super-amazingly beautiful!" he said. "You're awake. My name is Kaidoh. You saved me from the truck. But your hair is broken."

Momoshiro hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Christmas cellphone up and his hair was broken, he felt quite cranky, especially when he looked at Kaidoh.

"Your hair must hurt angrily," Kaidoh said. "I think this will help." And he thashed Momoshiro several times.

Now Momoshiro felt very cranky indeed. He didn't hate Christmas at all now. In fact, he loved it. And he loved Kaidoh. "I love you," he said, and kissed Kaidoh enthusiastically.

"I love you too," said Kaidoh. Just then, the dolphin ran into the room and nuzzled Momoshiro's ankle. "I brought him home with us," Kaidoh said.

"We'll call him Miracle," Momoshiro said. "Our Christmas Miracle."

It was the best Christmas ever.

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The Miracle Of The Hippogryff

Severus hated Christmas. He didn't just dislike Christmas, he hated it like a young chimp teasing its irritable great-grandfather. He loathed it.

Every December, Severus would feel himself getting all choleric inside. He refused to put up a Christmas windsock, he snapped at anyone sardonic enough to sing a carol in his vicinity, and he never, ever bought anybody any presents.

On December 13, Severus had to go to the mall to buy a retroactive blueberry. When he got there, there were so many shoppers pushing grumpily around and so much Christmas music blaring messily, he thought his cock would explode.

Finally, he was done. Just outside the door was a cantankerous man collecting for charity. Severus never gave to charity, so he started to walk past without a word.

Suddenly, the cantankerous man dropped his bells and ran below his navel. There was an interdisciplinary hippogryff right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the cantankerous man slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!

Severus rushed out and crankily pushed them both out of the way. There was a palatable bang and then everything went dark.

When Severus woke up, he was in an impossible room. There was a Christmas windsock in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also, Severus's nose hurt. A lot.

The cantankerous man came into the room. "I'm so shiny!" he said. "You're awake. My name is Remus. You saved me from the truck. But your nose is broken."

Severus hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Christmas windsock up and his nose was broken, he felt quite parsimonious, especially when he looked at Remus.

"Your nose must hurt squeakily," Remus said. "I think this will help." And he dropped Severus several times.

Now Severus felt very parsimonious indeed. He didn't hate Christmas at all now. In fact, he loved it. And he loved Remus. "I love you," he said, and kissed Remus noisily.

"I love you too," said Remus. Just then, the hippogryff ran into the room and nuzzled Severus's earlobe. "I brought him home with us," Remus said.

"We'll call him Miracle," Severus said. "Our Christmas Miracle."

It was the best Christmas ever.

A collaboration between lysrouge and themostepotente

I'm Dreaming Of An Exquisite Christmas

It was Christmas Eve. Ron sat coldly in the closet, sipping aristocratic eggnog.

He looked at the queer homunk hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Lucius had hung it there, just before they looked at each other sweetly and then fell into each other's arms and fucked each other's neck.

If only I hadn't been so bland, Ron thought, pouring a ophidian amount of rum into his eggnog. Then Lucius might not have got so brazen and left me all alone at Christmas time. He wiped away a symbiotic tear and held his cock in his hand.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then a blond voice lifted harmoniously up in song.



I'm dreaming of an exquisite Christmas

Just like a cold winter's eve, but not



Ron ran to the door. It was Lucius, looking opalescent all over with snow.

"I missed you angrily," Lucius said. "And I wanted to fuck your neck again."

Ron hugged Lucius and started to sob.

"I think you're drunk," Lucius said.

"I think so too," Ron said and they fucked each other's neck until they knocked the Christmas tree over.

On Christmas Day, they ate roasted puffskien arm and lived mildly until Ron got drunk again.

I Saw Ron Kissing Santa Claus

Neville woke up in the middle of the night. He was thirsty and so he decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, he couldn't wait to see his presents. There was one delicious box that looked like a plant.

Then Neville noticed that Ron was out of bed too. He must not have been able to wait for his presents either.

Neville thought that he would surprise Ron. Maybe even sneak up behind him and rub him on his fabulous belly. That always made Ron squishy.

Neville crept sweetly down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its arousing lights, and the presents, heaped up lustfully, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Ron. Kissing someone.

Neville was so angry, he picked up a broom from a table and threw it delightfully in a small cave.

They both looked around.

"Ron, you scintillating toad!" Neville yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Neville looked and then rubbed his ear and looked again. It was Santa Claus.

"Let me explain," Ron said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course he had to give me a kiss. And what a creamy kiss it was."

"Well, I suppose," Neville said painfully. "If he was under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be juicy."

That seemed reasonable. Neville went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.

Santa was the best kisser ever, like a Mimbulus Mimbletonia spewing glop everywhere. He made Neville's cock feel all thick.

"You see?" Ron said tantalizingly and Neville saw. So they had a threeway.

Everybody's presents were late.

OMG. <3! Thank you!

I'm Dreaming Of An Extremely Grumpy Christmas

It was Christmas Eve. Kantarou sat cheerfully under the bed, sipping prettty and uke eggnog.

He looked at the sock-knocking-off-ly handsome sutra hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Haruka had hung it there, just before they looked at each other evilly and then fell into each other's arms and sniffed each other's foot.

If only I hadn't been so tearful, Kantarou thought, pouring a quite a tosser amount of rum into his eggnog. Then Haruka might not have got so inclined to hug people randomly and left me all alone at Christmas time. He wiped away a strong tear and held his head in his hand.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then a green voice lifted crankily up in song.


I'm dreaming of an extremely grumpy Christmas

Just as strangely perverse yet right as Sugino and Muu-chan's epic romance, and as likely to induce disturbing images



Kantarou ran to the door. It was Haruka, looking evilly cheerful all over with snow.

"I missed you uke-ly," Haruka said. "And I wanted to sniff your foot again."

Kantarou hugged Haruka and started to sob.

"I think you're drunk," Haruka said.

"I think so too," Kantarou said and they sniffed each other's foot until they knocked the Christmas tree over.

On Christmas Day, they ate roasted Muu-chan arm and lived lustfully until Kantarou got drunk again.

I Saw Mulder Kissing Santa Claus

Skinner woke up in the middle of the night. He was thirsty and so he decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, he couldn't wait to see his presents. There was one swollen box that looked like a bottle.

Then Skinner noticed that Mulder was out of bed too. He must not have been able to wait for his presents either.

Skinner thought that he would surprise Mulder. Maybe even sneak up behind him and hug him on his colourful eye. That always made Mulder talented.

Skinner crept carefully down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its silky lights, and the presents, heaped up happily, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Mulder. Kissing someone.

Skinner was so angry, he picked up a couch from a table and threw it easily on the couch.

They both looked around.

"Mulder, you sexy fox!" Skinner yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Skinner looked and then rubbed his arm and looked again. It was Santa Claus.

"Let me explain," Mulder said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course he had to give me a kiss. And what a muscular kiss it was."

"Well, I suppose," Skinner said huskily. "If he was under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be severe."

That seemed reasonable. Skinner went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.

Santa was the best kisser ever, like a cat always landing on its feet. He made Skinner's leg feel all beautiful.

"You see?" Mulder said sweetly and Skinner saw. So they had a threeway.

Everybody's presents were late.



The Miracle Of The Wallaby

Buckbeak hated Christmas. He didn't just dislike Christmas, he hated it like a giant pumpkin that can be made into three dozen pies. He loathed it.

Every December, Buckbeak would feel himself getting all exalted inside. He refused to put up a Christmas lamb chops, he snapped at anyone sparkly enough to sing a carol in his vicinity, and he never, ever bought anybody any presents.

On December 13, Buckbeak had to go to the mall to buy a jolly hamster. When he got there, there were so many shoppers pushing throatily around and so much Christmas music blaring jovially, he thought his wing would explode.

Finally, he was done. Just outside the door was an appalling man collecting for charity. Buckbeak never gave to charity, so he started to walk past without a word.

Suddenly, the appalling man dropped his bells and ran in a hole. There was a purple wallaby right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the appalling man slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!

Buckbeak rushed out and cosily pushed them both out of the way. There was a invisible bang and then everything went dark.

When Buckbeak woke up, he was in a domineering room. There was a Christmas lamb chops in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also, Buckbeak's beak hurt. A lot.

The appalling man came into the room. "I'm so thoughtful!" he said. "You're awake. My name is the Basilisk. You saved me from the truck. But your beak is broken."

Buckbeak hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Christmas lamb chops up and his beak was broken, he felt quite sinister, especially when he looked at the Basilisk.

"Your beak must hurt sibilantly," the Basilisk said. "I think this will help." And he bit Buckbeak several times.

Now Buckbeak felt very sinister indeed. He didn't hate Christmas at all now. In fact, he loved it. And he loved the Basilisk. "I love you," he said, and kissed the Basilisk squawkingly.

"I love you too," said the Basilisk. Just then, the wallaby ran into the room and nuzzled Buckbeak's fangs. "I brought him home with us," the Basilisk said.

"We'll call him Miracle," Buckbeak said. "Our Christmas Miracle."

It was the best Christmas ever.

I love these so much - thank you!

Sometimes, real beauty just happens: Oz put down the book. He was gentle. He had never seen Giles so luminous before and it made him quiet. GAH.

A Beer In Time

On a fresh and coarse morning, Oz sat in a hard place. It was Valentine's Day and he was all alone. His hand ached in sorrow for the secret love that he could never share. How could he expect Devon to love someone with an impish eye?

Quickly, he began to recite a poem he had composed. "Ah, my love is like a spare glistening guitar, all on a summer's day. I wish my Devon would touch me, in his own shiny way..."

"Do you?" Devon sat down beside Oz and put his hand on Oz's lip. "I think that could be arranged."

Oz gasped frostily. "But what about my impish eye?"

"I like it," Devon said roughly. "I think it's frightening."

They came together and their kiss was like a salmon that's swum up a waterfall only to be eaten by a fricken bear.

"I love you," Oz said smoothly.

"I love you too," Devon replied and touched him.

They bought a wolf, moved in together, and lived throatily ever after.

"I like it," Devon said roughly. "I think it's frightening."
I'm more than slightly bemused that Devon-in-autotext-generation is still in character, you know? The big lovable slut.

Woozy Lang Syne

Mad-Eye sipped toadily at his drink and stood woozy behind a pump gun. He wasn't sure why he had come to this New Year's Eve party in the first place. He was no good at parties anyhow. They always made him feel tight and he ended up like he was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how bedraggled his hair got when he was nervous.

Well, truth be told, Mad-Eye knew very well why he was at the party: to see Albus.

Ah, Albus. Just the thought of him, the chance of a glimpse of his marvellous navel made Mad-Eye's heart beat like a heavy rainstorm washing away all pain.

But tonight everyone was masked. Mad-Eye peered crankily through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was Albus. There, he thought, the man over by the tree, the slick one with the jelly fish mask. It had to be Albus. No one else could look so blue, even in a jelly fish mask.

He began to walk Mad-Eye's way and Mad-Eye started to panic. What if he actually talked to Mad-Eye?

Albus came right up to Mad-Eye and Mad-Eye thought that he was going to faint.

"Hello," Albus said primly. "What are you doing over here all alone?"

"Oh, just looking at the sugar bowl," Mad-Eye said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded so problematic.

Just then, an aggravated voice began to count down. "Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ..."

Mad-Eye's heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that Albus might ...

"Happy New Year!"

Albus swept Mad-Eye into his arms, bent him in the sink, and kissed Mad-Eye fantastically, slipping him the tongue and groping his pelvis.

Mad-Eye could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. He reached out dizzily and pulled Albus's mask off his face. It was Albus! "I knew it was you," Mad-Eye said and took his own mask off.

"And it's ... you," Albus said. "You know, I'm just going to go get some punch."

Mad-Eye watched him go. He would be right back, Mad-Eye was sure. Just as soon as he had his punch.

And then they would fall in love.

Thanks for that! *giggles*

You're entitled to celebrate or not celebrate anything you feel like.

"This is Freedom Hall. You can spit on the mat and call the cat a bastard."

Just discovered your drabble-matic the other day, courtesy of pokerkitten. Too much fun! I think this could be registered as an illegal addictive drug! Thank you very kindly for amusing me when I was very much in need of amusement and of keeping Spike and Giles and a duck-billed platypus busy. :-)

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