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Halrloprillalar

You can call me Hal.

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Thanks everyone who offered to help me out with my story. I really appreciate it! I have a couple of intrepid volunteers lined up now so, hopefully I'll get rolling on that this weekend.

I've been feeling like I've just been writing fluff lately and not really doing something that's worthwhile. Though I'm not sure what that means, exactly. And, anyhow, isn't it worthwhile to entertain people? But I feel better if I balance the fluff out with something more difficult once in a while, so this should be good for me. Of course, it will take forever and so I'll probably write a bunch of fluff in the meantime. *g*

It seems to me like my personal fannish pace is just too frantic these days. But it's so hard to pull back. I've got myself into a place where I'm thinking, oh my god, it's Sunday night and I don't have fic to post. Which is ludicrous -- there's no reason for me to feel I should post that often. I never used to. And posting that frequently certainly contributes to the high ratio of fluff.

Though maybe people like the fluff the best.

Anyhow, I'm just rambling because I didn't have enough time to formulate the substantive post on characterization I meant to make, because I slept in because I was out late.

But do you feel like your fannish pace is getting out of control? Like it's a part-time job and if you don't put your hours in, you won't get paid?

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But do you feel like your fannish pace is getting out of control? Like it's a part-time job and if you don't put your hours in, you won't get paid?

Yes, oh dear god, yes.
I'm in the process of moving house right now (the truck comes for the furniture on Monday) and I still can't shake the feeling that "write more on story X" is right up there in my obligations with "pack the rest of the kitchen gadgets." It's insane. And yet I can't stop.

Oh, god, I know just what you mean! I hope the move goes smoothly and you can keep yourself from feeling like you have to sit down amidst the bubblewrap to write porn.

But do you feel like your fannish pace is getting out of control? Like it's a part-time job and if you don't put your hours in, you won't get paid?

Yep. I don't feel that way about fanfic, because it's been so long since I've been able to write consistently, I don't really consider myself a writer any more. My main fannish activity these days is my Yu-Gi-Oh! Episode Guide, and I do feel that I need to do some kind of update on it at least once a week, even if there are no new episodes being shown.

And there's always the urge to post something interesting in my lj to amuse people.

And there's always the urge to post something interesting in my lj to amuse people.

That too! But if I spend too much time doing that, there's no time to write. Hmm.

It used to be like that...my god my memory is so bad. It used to be like that up to 3 years ago. Sometimes I felt a fic writing machine that was let out to do other things for fun.

I think it's because fandom is so big, and you feel like you're obligated to worship it by leaving offerings because it's done so much for you.

Then I thought, this is ridiculous, and I don't even write that well anyway (by which I mean I can't be bothered in ways other ficwriters are bothered) so I quit, and changed handles <-Probably only significant to me, but nonetheless important.

There are some people I write for, and some people whose opinions I care for, and that's it. If I let it eat me up again I'd never have time to do anything else (like slack, or watch my fanboy anime, or go to school)


It's interesting that you changed handles. Did that make things easier for you?

And the pressure to write is defintely from me, not from others. I feel that if I'm not creating something, I'm slacking. Of course, I slack anyhow, I just feel vaguely guilty about it.

Yeah, pretty much. I attach quite a bit of significance to names. The one I have right now (squit) is a lot more whimsical and less depressing and complex to me than the last stable one. (I've only really switched twice, and kept two, this one and the first one for any significant period of time)

I go through periods where I throw everything that isn't absolutely neccessary away, literally and metaphorically. And it helps, I feel like I can start all over again. Otherwise I feel like I'm /locked/ into a certain persona and I have to say certain things or respond to people in a particular way.

I get more pressure from other people to write than myself! XD XD XD That's because I'm a bad writer <-I don't really make the effort to improve it like I should, and I delete stuff very often when the mood strikes me. Which is to say, I like my fic ideas, I'm proud of them, but the way I express them? Not so much.

I prefer to watch other people do cool things and if I'm close to them, revel in their successes ^_^ Oh dear, it sounds quite pathetic, doesn't it?

Slacking is integral to my life. I have a high threshold of guilt for this thing, be it fic or assignments.

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I like your coral metaphor. And I find writing addictive, even though I don't exactly enjoy doing it.

I do sometimes, and it's ridiculous because it's not as if the community *expects* stuff from me -- there's no one holding me to a schedule except myself.

I learned several years ago that I make virtually all of my own stress. I'm working on fixing that.

So true. :) I go through this every once in a while. I think the time between is getting shorter, though.

It's funny, I like thinking up stories, but writing them out to share is hard work. It's not so much the sense of obligation to post as a feeling that there's a deadline before I lose interest in either the fandom or the story, but I want to share the story. Something like that.

*nod* Writing is damned hard.

I haven't been in the mood to write lately and it's driving me crazy. I feel like no one will care about me if I don't churn out fic at a crazy rate like I used to. -_-

Yeah, I feel like people will forget about me if I go too long between fic and posts. Though I think a week or two could lapse, at least. *g*

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