Halrloprillalar (prillalar) wrote,

A pause

I have been so touched by the things people have said about Not the Triumph. You have left such thoughtful, deeply-felt comments and all I can seem to manage in response is "thank you". It seems very inadequate.

The truth is this story really surprised me. I had no idea it would make people feel so strongly. Or that it would make me feel the same way.

Sometimes, when I'm writing, or in the days before I start to write, I can feel the story inside of me. It sits just inside my chest and I can feel the weight of it there. And then, as I plan and write, it dissolves and then I'm done.

This time, I didn't get that feeling while I was writing. But I have it now. The story is done, but it's still inside me. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to make it go away.

I've only ever written two TezuRyo stories so far and they were posted a year and a day apart. Really, I think I only have one TezuRyo story to tell. Anything I write about them will be part of it, fitting in the pieces, until it's done.

It's hard to express how much these two mean to me. Every time I think about them, I want to cry. It's been that way since the beginning. But they are so difficult, so hard to get hold of, I can't just write about them whenever I want to.

It's going to be days until I can think about anything else. Christ.

If you made it this far, you're very indulgent of me. Here, listen to this and be maudlin along with me: Scala - With Or Without You. I know, it's like I'm back in high school. But it's a great cover.
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