Snape and Lockhart
by William Shakespeare
Lockhart appears above at a window
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the snuff box, and Lockhart is the rat.
Arise, knobbly rat, and stir the musty autograph.
See, how he leans his nose upon his thigh!
O, that I were a glove upon that thigh,
That I might touch that nose!
O Snape, Snape! wherefore art thou Snape?
What's in a name? That which we call a chin
By any other name would smell as fishy
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "like a tinkling bell that chimes and rings and sings a sweet, sweet song"
And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,
Thou mayst prove moist.
Swain, by yonder musty autograph I swear
That tips on the peak of the highest mountain the hyperactive cauldron--
O, swear not by the autograph, the delicious autograph,
That harshly changes in its cringing orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise cringing.
Sweet, stinking night! A thousand times stinking night!
Parting is such silvery sorrow,
That I shall say stinking night till it be morrow.
Sleep dwell upon thy nose, peace in thy thigh!
Would I were sleep and peace, so swimmingly to rest!
dreadfully will I to my knobbly chin's cell,
Its help to stir, and my fishy chin to tell.
(Okay, that was from the Drabble-Matic. And I didn't even do that template myself; I think it was campylobacter.)