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You can call me Hal.

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Hal: You have a drink!

Boy: Do you want some?

Hal: What is it?

Boy: It's a decaf grande ristretto sugar-free French Vanilla breve latte.

Hal: I can't drink something with that many syllables.

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..a decaf sugar-free BREVE?

So. No caffeine, no sugar, but a cup of fat? I mean, at least around about here, a breve is made with foamy half and half, rather than milk.

This is like the opposite of my skinny syrupy oh so caffeinated drink!

This is the Atkins lifestyle. In which fruit is the enemy and bacon is a condiment.

It frightens me.

Now I want a nonfat tofutti rice dreamsicle. And a green tea frappucino.

Now I want a nonfat tofutti rice dreamsicle.

Hee! I just want a cup of coffee. But I'll have to wait until morning.

Did the boy happen to have rectangular, opaque glasses that tend to glint in the sunlight when he turns his head just so?

*sounded as bad as an Inui Juice* This is why I'm intimidated by Starbucks.

No, I'm the bespectacled evil one in the family. :) And, damn, but I've wished to be able to produce the shiny-glasses effect at will.

I don't really like coffee with so much stuff added to it. Drip coffee with milk or a macchiato is about all I need.

If I wanted a hot chocolate I woulda ordered one insteada coffee, goldurnit! Git all that fuzzy shit outa there!

Good coffee resembles brown ink, except for the flavor. When they put all that stuff in, they may as well have started with ink, your never know.

two words: eggnog latte!

I like steamed eggnog a lot, but not with coffee added. But, mmm, eggnog season.

That sounds revolting.

You just know the Italians are laughing at us.

It sure does, doesn't it? One time when we were downtown during the summer, we went into Starbucks and he ordered a breve latte. Which, if you're not familiar with the term, is made with cream instead of milk. And the barrista asked him where he was from, because apparently only American tourists order breves. He was a little put out by that, but it hasn't stopped him from drinking them.

You know, cream is pretty much my favorite substance in the whole world, and I still wouldn't try and make a latte with it.

Silly people.

And achoo to you, too.

I had to look up ristretto.

For I have never heard of such a thing.

Then again, I like my coffee black and unsweetened.

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