2. I won the 1994 Nobel Prize in Literature for my Harry Potter drabble Perfection.
3. I have a conjoined twin.
4. I trap muskrats for a living.
5. I lost all my body hair in a freak accident involving a particle accelerator, a jar of chunky peanut butter, and Jackie Chan. If only we had used smooth!
6. I ended the NHL strike.
7. I know everything. Except how to mend a broken heart.
8. I am the true voice of Homer Simpson.
9. I invented Post-Its.
10. I think most memes are just an excuse for us to talk endlessly about ourselves.
At some point, I will post something that isn't either pure snark or pure crack. Probably not this week, though. It must be sunspots.