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You can call me Hal.

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The Hand
I'm home alone, lying on the couch, working on my yuletide story, with the Log channel on. It's to the side, so I'm not staring into the flames, and it's quite relaxing.

Until there's a noise and I look up and see The Hand putting more wood on the fire. "Oh, god, it's The Hand!" I shriek. Every time. The Hand that's attached to a body we never see. It freaks me right out.

Now I'm wondering if I stay up all night long and stare into the flames and don't close my eyes, I'll see the true secret behind the Log, a thin grey alien hand reaching out to put wood on the fire and beam subliminal messages into my brain.

And we're all out of tinfoil.

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Noo! Do not be deceived! Tinfoil hats make you *more* vulnerable to mind-control rays!.

*also working on yule story

Dude, these so-called MIT students are clearly lizards. They just want you to fnord think that.

There's a LOG channel? Is that like, the fish channel? I have a favourite fish.

It's a cable channel in December that shows a burning fireplace. That's all it is. Wood burning in a fireplace. So if you don't have a fireplace, you can pretend.

Yeah, I guess that's like the fish channel which just shows a fish tank. So you can pretend you have one.

I have a favourite little goldfish.

What does The Hand look like where you are?

Past The Hands have looked so-so to me, but a couple of years ago we had this fuckin' big biker guy hand with massive amounts of arm hair and huge skull rings and so on.

I can't believe you have the Fireplace Channel already. We don't get it till Christmas Eve.

Re: What does The Hand look like where you are?

The hand -- the one I've *seen* -- is a big, beefy guy hand, but no skull rings. A wedding ring, though.

Maybe we just have less cable channels than you do and so they can easily take up an extra one. :)

You have a fire channel too?!??! My god I could have sworn that was a Yukon thing. LOL



I think it's all over Canada and the US in various forms.

Now I just have to stay awake for 8 more hours...

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