Halrloprillalar (prillalar) wrote,


I buy tuna like some people buy shoes. I get into the grocery store and something pulls me towards the tinned fish aisle. Oh, I say to myself. I need tuna. But, like shoes (or so I hear), I have to spend some time to find the right tins. Because I read an article once that told me what tuna to buy and what to avoid. You have to check where it was tinned and from one place it's good and another it's bad. But when I'm standing in the grocery store at 7AM and I've only had a few swallows of coffee, I can never remember which place is which, so I go by the alphabet or by spinning around with my eyes closed and grabbing the first tin I touch.

Also, some of the tins have pictures of dolphins on them. This tuna is dolphin-approved, I think. But what do dolphins know about tuna? Besides, I hate dolphins. But then maybe the picture means that the tuna contains dolphin. I've never had dolphin (except in tuna) so I'm not sure if I like the taste. Close eyes, spin, grab.

When I've got my five tins picked out, I take them home and open the cupboard and discover that I've already got 20 tins in there. But, really, that's not enough. What if there were a shortage? Or if I had to isolate myself due to bird flu? (So long as dolphins aren't a carrier!) Best to get more.

I do like tuna a lot, but even so, I can't eat all that I buy. I think this impulse comes from my childhood when I would only take tuna sandwiches for lunch to school, from elementary up to high school. For some reason, nobody wanted to sit next to me at lunch. But those sandwiches were the best, soggy and warm. Tuna means comfort. Tuna means happiness. Tuna means love.

I shudder to think how much mercury I consumed. Still, it never hurt me. Unless that's the reason I can never remember how much tuna I have in the cupboard.
Tags: tuna
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