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You can call me Hal.

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If you had me under your command and could make me lick anything, what would you love to see me lick?

Definitely salt lick. It provides needed nutrients to wildlife.

I used to have a salt lick when I was a kid. I would chip bits off and suck on them. These days, I just crunch kosher salt while I watch TV.

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Can I pick which Steve? I always had kind of a crush on Steve Dallas.

Kaidou's abs. Why yes, I'm a pervert.

If you can guarantee I won't be arrested, I'd be happy to oblige. :D

The foam from a pint of Guinness, from the corners of your lips. Then tipping your glass up to catch the last few drops on your tongue. And then ordering another. And after that, everything's lickable, so we all win *\o/*

I'll bring a video camera next time I'm at the pub. :D

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I'm getting drymouth just thinking about it!

Again with the if only! So long as I don't have to choose between Kara and Drew.

A lollipop. Well, you asked.

Hee! I'll do my Shirley Temple impression. :)

I...don't know how to answer this. I don't think my mind's dirty enough.

Well, it's always good to have something to work towards. :D

An Ice Sculpture. Of a fat guy.

Or my spine. You know, whatever.

Not if it's that fat guy from Higa.

Should I start at the top or at the bottom?

Is it horrible that my first, entirely adolescent response is to say "an ice-cold metal pole" ?

I've always wondered whether the old urban legend about getting one's tongue stuck to metal is true.

Er. But a pervier answer is probably, "Whatever you desire, honey."

I think I'd rather make Momo do that one! And it's all too true.

I always thought you'd like to watch.

Ponies are all hairy and gross. How about a reptile of some sort?

If someone else didn't already mention a frozen pole, I definitely would have. ;) (I once got my tongue stuck on a popsicle...I believe I pulled off a few tastebuds)

I'll take the popsicle over the pole. Lime! Also: ouch!

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He's my robot boyfriend.