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You can call me Hal.

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Hints from Hal

Make housework a breeze by drinking Scotch straight from the bottle while you work.

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I'll one-up you and say drinking Scotch straight from the bottle while you do anything is a helpful hint.

That's like one of those 50s housewife tips from hell. I can just see you in your polkadotted dress and your heels, vacuuming up cracker crumbs etc. and dusting your lampshades while singing tipsily off key to "Buffalo Gals."

...and pearls, we mustn't forget the pearls.

Pearls! Saints preserve us, I forgot the pearls. Thank you.

I didn't read the subject heading at first so I was like, "Huh. Good Housekeeping is changing their approach..."

drink up, me matey.

I believe that gin is a good solvent as well. for all those unsightly crayon wall drawings.

And, if nothing else, when you finish the bottle, you won't know if the house is clean or not.

I prefer a bottle of champagne, but the principle's the same. :D

Gosh, I wish I'd read this before I started on the cat litter...

There's just something I like about the self-image: me, in my pink rubber gloves and matching mini skirt with a bottle of Tilex in one hand and a bottle of scotch in the other. Almost makes cleaning the cat box worth it just for the potential glam shot.

I find that this is an excellent method. The more I drink, the better my house looks!

That's like... the best idea EVER.

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