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You can call me Hal.

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When (I|you) rule the world.
1. What phrase or expression will you outlaw from all fiction?

2. What song will never be played again?

3. What snack will you serve every Friday?


1. "companionable silence"

2. That "chestnuts roasting on an open fire" song

3. Delicious meatballs

1. the "blond" anything.

2. That really annoying "mmm bop" song

3. meat flavored pie.

1. "blond" shall be replaced with "Slytherin" in all fics

2. I'm listening to it right now!

3. Mmm. Steak and mushroom pie.

1. "He smelled/tasted/kissed/fucked/etc. like Thing1, Thing2, and something else that was definitively Hisname." ARGH.

2. My Humps.

3. Big bowls of whipped cream!

Number one slayed me! *L*

Because I've beat that particular horse to death myself, and chastised myself for its overusage every time I did it! *LOL I don't suppose I get any redemption for saying "...something else that was UNIQUELY Hisname." instead of DEFINITELY, huh? No, didn't think so...

1. "the other man." I will require that names be used when pronouns just won't do.

2. I don't even know the name of it, but when I rule the world, I will set a team of researchers to discover which tune it is (from the horrific depths of the uninspired pop sludge of the late 80s), and when it is found, I will outlaw it in every corner of the land.

3. Popcorn and salad.

My question to you -- whyfor did you not answer "cheese" to number 3? :-D

Ooh, popcorn! We have it all the time. The Boy makes it in a Whirly-Pop on the stove and it's the best thing ever.

Because cheese will be served every day.

1: "Kissing (blank) felt like coming home." Great! Good to know John Sheppard kisses like unwashed dishes and a couch covered in dog hair.

2: Anything by Paris Hilton. WHY, GOD.

3: Cookie dough!

You know, that's probably what he does kiss like.

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1. I think there should be a challenge to use terrible porn phrases like that in other contexts in fic. That would be hilarious.

2. Remember that scene in Wayne's World where they go to the guitar store and there's a sign "No Stairway"?

Ha! I'm going to write "companionable silence" in every one of my stories from now on.

Mmmm, meatballs.

* Whenever I see people write "Ha!" I think for a minute that it's really "Hal" but then it's not and I feel much less popular.

* Every story you do that in I'm going to comment first and say in really big letters that I told you not to use such a tired phrase and also that you're mean to your cat.

* You didn't even answer the questions!

* I had a beer last night! With fish and chips at the pub.

Oh man, this is so tough.

1. It's a toss up between any form of 'ghost' in verb form or 'the other' when referring to character b.

2. 'My humps' (unless Will Ferrell is singing it) or anything by The Pussycat Dolls. :|

3. Cake. Lovely, shiny, delicious cake.

1. I sometimes like "the other" -- depends on the story.

2. You're the second person to mention this song. I must say, I'm glad that I've never heard of it until now.

3. I had a big piece yesterday at work. I was vibrating all day from the sugar rush.

Aw, I like companionable silence. When I think of that phrase, I feel homey and calm. Although, I agree with you about "The Christmas Song". But I think a lot of Christmas music needs to go, frankly. The world has been listening to the same Christmas music for far too long.

1. Anything to do with souls. Like souls touching or her soul sang or anything like that. Also, I am sick of "he/she paused for a moment", mostly because I use it too often in my own writing.

2. I am not prepared to answer this question. It would require too much research. Probably some slow, sloppy song. I hate those.

3. Nngh. I should choose something unique like gazpacho but my heart is screaming hamburgers or pizza. Probably pizza.

I like the idea of companionable silence, just not the phrase. It's cliché. And I keep coming across it in published fiction and it makes me wrinkle my nose.

I think the world would be grateful for Pizza Fridays!

2. That "chestnuts roasting on an open fire" song

*gasp* You dare to diss Nat King Cole? DEAD TO ME.

1. "husked" Is an ear of corn involved? If not, NO HUSKING.

2. "Red Red Wine."

3. Reese's peanut butter eggs (the kind that come out around Easter, theoretically, though they're already in stores here).

Gah, that's so awful! Myself, I usually say something like "In a voice that could pull a dog sled" so as to avoid the whole corn thing... *L*

1. Something that isn't correct. Like, "irregardless."

2. "Hey Jude." Most overrated song ever.

3. This pork-and-peanut-and-pineapple dish I make for parties. Those who are allergic may abstain.

Your party dish sounds intriguing!

1. The other man (or woman, or whoever.) That will be difficult for the 1% of uses when it is appropriate, but I don't care.

2. The Little Drummer Boy.

3. Cake, without frosting.

God, yes, to the Little Drummer Boy. We should probably outlaw all Xmas music just to be on the safe side.

1. "his/her emotional walls" and associated metaphors (might have been ok at one point, but currently horribly overused, and, for me personally, emotionally associated with bad fics about Duo Maxwell. see also: "facade")

2. When a Man Loves a Woman

3. shumai (I am assuming that my army of cooks will actually do the preparing)

(uh oh, I actually like "companionable silence!" When I really get along with someone we just chill silently, so it's always called that feeling up. me=weirdo, obvs)

Different fandoms probably build their own list of clichés. It would be interesting to study if it wouldn't mean reading huge stacks of horrible fic.

1. What phrase or expression will you outlaw from all fiction?

"It was too much, it wasn't enough."

2. What song will never be played again?

Does it have to be just one song? Everything and anything by Neil Young.

3. What snack will you serve every Friday?

Chocolate. Think of the infinite variety.

I'm picturing a big chocolate buffet now! Mmm.

1.) "He cummed." FOR GOD'S SAKE.

2.) The 'mood music' playing at my department store. My soul is crumpling.

3.) Nachos, sour cream and salsa. Never gets old.

Your poor soul! *massages it*

What do you have against "companionable silence"?

It's a cliché. The phrase is way over-used. So, nothing against the concept, but I wish people would start to think up more original ways to describe it.