Halrloprillalar (prillalar) wrote,

Could pirates have saved this movie?

Wednesday nights, I hang with the boy. Usually we go to the pub, but this week, to save $$, we stayed in and watched a DVD.

Specifically, we watched Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones.

You might ask why. Well, that's a funny story. I asked what DVD he wanted to watch and he suggested this one, assuming that we would, as we usually do, end up with about six different suggestions that we'd then prune down to one. Instead, I looked at him like he was crazy and said, "Ooooookay." So we watched it. And I wouldn't let him skip one single second of it, even the romance bits.

(No, we didn't rent it. Of course we own it; it's Star Wars. But owning it is no excuse for watching it.)

Of the good, it completely supports my "Jedi are creepy and evil" theory and I was glad to be reminded. More on that another day. And the sound design was just amazing. I think I could listen to all the effects and Foley with my eyes closed and be happy.

But this movie lacks relationships that have any sort of chemistry. Obi-Wan and Anakin? They just annoy each other -- I have no sense that they even like or hate each other. Anakin and Padme? Can you say Willow and Tara? I knew you could. Palpatine and Anakin? So undeveloped.

(Well, I did think that Padme had some good chemistry going with Queen Jamillia. That was the only thing about this movie that ever tempted me to fic.)

I liked the Obi-Wan-Jango fight, but there wasn't anything behind it to make me care more than that. I wanted to see much more footage of Anakin slaughtering the sand people. I think we needed to see that.

Of course Dooku was cool -- Christopher Lee couldn't be anything else. It was interesting to see the whole chain of evil and failure: Yoda trains Dooku, who goes evil. Dooku trains Qui-Gon who was, IMO, a little on the evil side himself. Qui-Gon trains Obi-Wan who doesn't have the guts to be evil, but he trains Anakin and you know where that goes.

I feel quite sorry for Obi-Wan, actually. He's surpassed by both his master and his student. He's never the best, never the worst. Never the hero. Always a bridesmaid, never the bride.

One thing that could have kicked this movie up a notch is an Anakin-Obi-Wan-Padme triangle, with both Obi-Wan and Padme competing for Anakin's attention.

Or maybe some pirates. Yo ho!

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