prillalar

"We're so pleased to have you on staff, Mr Jones," said Dumbledore, smiling, "and no milk for me, just lemon." 

And you, because you all live inside my iPhone, right?

Oh yeah, like a teeny, tiny little Vera homunculus with a teeny, tiny little MacBook! I'm so cute!

Harry Potter, Harry/Harry's wand, vegetarian

When the beautiful woman appeared and said she was the incarnation of his wand, Harry was ready to promise her anything, but reconsidered when he woke suddenly to find a spilt potion and Hermione wearing a "Meat Is Murder" badge. 

*taps on screen*

PoT, Atobe/Momo, cat food :D

I should have an app for you. :)

"See, the aliens love cat food," Momo began, but when he saw the I don't keep you around to talk look on Atobe's face, he just sighed and hoped he'd remembered his chapstick. 

X-Men, Logan/Scott, snow. Yeah, I'm bringin' it back.

"If she said nothing happened, then nothing happened," Logan says, blowing smoke into the air, and Scott doesn't even try to believe the lie of warmth in a blizzard, just nods and bares his neck for Logan's teeth.

Oofuri, Hanai/Tajima, fancy dinner!

"Formal dress means dressed," Hanai growls, but when he gets to the end of the discarded trail, he finds it's time for dessert.

PoT, Tezuka/Inui, high school.

"You don't want to enter high school a virgin," Inui says, licking the spot behind Tezuka's ear, and Tezuka opens his mouth to remind Inui he's not actually going to high school, but thinks a moment, and closes it again.

!!!!!! You read KODT (Knights of the Dinner Table)?

Yes! Well, we don't pick it up any more, but I've read quite a lot of it in my day.

I never used to ship Bob and Dave but then one time they were rolling up characters together and Bob was having terrible luck and Dave offered to let Bob use his dice! My god, I thought, Dave has it bad for Bob! (I was kind of sad when Bob was horrified and refused.)

because you all live inside my iPhone, right?

Us and crazy internet trolls, yes.

Smallville, Clark/Lex, Miley Cyrus.

I have to admit defeat on this one. I only ever watched S1 of Smallville and I don't know, was Miley Cyrus even born then? (Also, I mostly ignored Clark and spent my time shipping Lex and Martha.)

Do you want to pick something else?

Inukai, iPhone. :DDDD

"Let me hold it," Inui said, stroking the iPhone gently and cooing, while Kaidoh wondered where Inui got off mocking him for doing the same thing to Inui's kitten.

Tenipuri, Inui/Tezuka, techinical error.

When Tezuka cut himself, he thought the Great Robot Prank was at an end, but he'd underestimated Inui's devotion to Battlestar Galactica. 

Tosh, if not by faith then by the sword

South Park, Cartman/Butters, bi-curious ;P

InuKai, sculpting clay

Dan/Akutsu, poltergeist

I'm imagining you cooped up in some mountain resort typing slash in between rounds of entertaining foreign dignitaries.

Eyeshield 21, White Knights (that's totaly a pairing), school uniforms.