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You can call me Hal.

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We are all special snowflakes.
ryuzaki is hotter than you
❆ So I'm finally getting to the point in my life where I'm wearing make-up regularly. Still not every day, just every work day. And I discovered that at *COUGH* years of age, I do not really know how to apply lipstick. Was there a class on this in high school that I missed?

❆ I think I have my work image about where I want it: professional, sophisticated, damn scary. I'm still struggling with my off-hours image, though. There's got to be some middle ground between "BOW BEFORE YOUR QUEEN" and "pyjama slob". Any suggestions?

❆ Is it better to eat the brains of smart people or dumb people? Or maybe goats?

❆ Some days I really miss Eric Cartman.

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I can help with the lipstick, but it kind of works better in person. Do you have specific questions?

It's hard for me to imagine you wearing makeup at all, actually. I crave photographic evidence. (:

I'm still struggling with my off-hours image, though.

If you figure this one out, let me know. I've got myself set for dates/parties, but no idea about casual clothes for the rest of my life.

It's mostly the whole foundation for complexion thing, so nothing too exciting. Though if I can get the lipstick thing working, that will add some interest. :)

I need to figure out my off-hours concept and then the clothes will come. I probably don't want to be *as* scary, but, hey a little is fine.

Can't help with 1 or 2 as do not wear makeup or work, but I think on #3 it is best to balance the two, as there is so much more of the dumb category than the smart that if you ate smart brains exclusively you'd run out very quickly.


That sentence was rather unforgivable, wasn't it? *crawls into bed*

You are very likely correct! It would be terrible to be craving smart brains and not be able to get them.

The first image I got in my mind for "how to apply lipstick" was Molly Ringwald in The Breakfast Club holding the lipstick between her boobs.

...a-and if you don't know that movie I will cry

Hee! And no need to cry. :)

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But the goats always look so happy for me to be eating their yogurt so I thought their brains would cheer me up.


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I always loved lipstick in theory but hated it in practice because it made my mouth look small.

Earlier this year I put some on and inspected myself carefully in the mirror, and realized that all this time I'd been not quite applying it to the edge of the lip, but instead just a teeeeeeeny slive to the inside of the lip. I'm in my 30s; how did I never notice before?

Makeup is so weird.

Makeup is very weird. And complex! No wonder I resisted it for so long.

This was all so much easier during my butch phase.

There's lots of helpful videos on YouTube about makeup application; they range from full-out red lipstick with about 30 steps to just the basic balm/liner/lipstick routine you'd need for everyday. I don't have the time to link you to specific ones right this minute but if you search on your own and find nothing satisfactory, let me know and I can rec you some decent ones.

The clothes are a bit trickier in my opinion; if you dress "damn scary" for work, casual for you probably isn't going to be flip-flops. It's a matter of trial and error; upscale clothing stores tend to have consultants on hand to help you pick out stuff, but I don't think you're the kind to trust their advice XD

Plz eat the dumb brains first so they can stop polluting the world *hides*

Is there nothing YouTube can't teach us? It's how I learned to knit!

30 steps? Liner? This is more complicated than I had suspected.

It's mostly that I haven't figured out what kind of image I want to project; once I work that out, the clothes will be less of a problem.

But what if all the dumb brains make ME dumb?

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I do use a tinted gloss right now. I think I'd like something a lot darker, though.

... Maybe you can just lick the brains of smart people for a while? To make them last?

There could be waffle cones involved. :)

Lip balm stops lipstick from drying out your lips, then outline the lips in a lip liner that's just a shade darker than your lipstick. Then put on lipstic and ta-daaah it doesn't go out of the line, somehow.

....yeah that probably wasn't too helpful :P

I also read where you can put concealer around the outside edges and that helps too. I'm learning so many new things. :)

Buy lip liner as well as lipstick, line your lips with it (make sure you don't go outside your lip line), and use it to fill in the rest of the lip as well. Apply your lipstick over it, then blot with a tissue (press your lips down on it briefly). The lip liner will help hold the color once your lipstick has worn off, though you'll still want to re-apply it (just the lipstick part) a couple times throughout the day.

You are always so much better at this stuff than I am!

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