So, the coaches are totally tired of all the usual Prince of Tennis slash pairings so they decide to trick them into breaking up. All I can say is they had better hand over their secret stash of Tezuka/Kaidoh stat cause I never knew it was a usual pairing! (Also, my iPad auto-suggested both “Tezuka” and “Kaidoh” when I started to type their names. Bless her little heart.)
Tezuka has another one of those weird narration voice-overs he's been getting. Is this to prove to us that he is in fact not a robot? Because I could totally program a robot to
“This is ridiculous!” Kaidoh yells. “Now Inui-senpai will find out about my secret affair with Tezuka-buchou!” Inui, of course, has the visuals from the robot already. Maybe it was all to improve Kaidoh's technique...
To show they really mean it when they say they want to break up all the boyfriends, the coaches start with the most married of all: Silver Pair. Choutarou is devastated at the thought of having to play against his wifey, but Shishido manages to convince him that it doesn't mean the end of their
Platinum Pair also begin their match. (Oshitari and Gakuto too, but I do not acknowledge their love.) Suddenly, a barber runs onto the court and cuts off Niou’s rat tail!!! Oh wait, that didn't happen. Well, I do acknowledge their love but I won't acknowledge the rat tail.
And now over to another court where Horio is revealed as a major Golden Pair shipper, but to be cool and unusual he calls them the “Golden Combi”. Then to yet another court, where Ryoma and Kintarou are playing doubles against some random high schoolers. They do not seem to be aware of the doubles boyfriend rules and since Kintarou hasn’t hit puberty yet, I'll give them a pass. Ryoma beats them both to a pulp, forgetting the cardinal rule of D&D: always leave one alive to interrogate. But there are many random high schoolers for them to trash, so they may yet get the vital information needed for their quest. Or maybe they're just trying to rack up XP.
Back to Golden Pair where Inui notices that the Kikumaru Jet Bazooka is not up to its usual standard. You too, Oishi? Tezuka internally monologues, and we will never know if their passionate affair which broke Tezuka's heart and caused Oishi to take up bowling out of guilt was intentionally programmed by Inui or if it was just a glitch, like that time Tezuka killed Kuki Kichi.
Also, Oishi still has pretty eyes.
Fuji and Inui explain that it's hard to play seriously against your boyfriend, even though they both totally watched Tezuka and Atobe play that time.
Oishi hits the ball so hard it sends Eiji into a flashback about their tender golden love which there is really no way to really exaggerate the slashiness of, so I won't even try. It probably makes Tezuka cry, though. And blushy Oishi is very sweet.
All the romance makes Eiji hit a shot so great that even Kaidoh is attracted to him now. And the match is ON! Elsewhere, Gakuto loses the match but not his wig. And Niou tries to trick Yagyuu with some fake blood, which works about as well as you might imagine. Also, Choutarou defeats Shishido and looks like a kicked puppy. But wifey fixes it with
The pervy coaches plan which new and exciting slash pairings they’re going to fix up. Eiji wins the match and takes Oishi’s racquet to let him know Eiji won't stand for any more fooling around with Tezuka. “Also, don't touch yourself until I get home,” he says, surprising no one, not even Horio.
Akutsu sidles up to Kawamura. “We didn't come here to fool around!” he says. The coaches put him on a watch list.
Ryoma is wishing Kintarou would just leave him alone already in case Tokugawa thinks that they're together. Kintarou doesn't get the hint, which was Ryoma saying, “I wish you'd just leave me alone already.” They come upon Oni and Tokugawa rallying with five balls, which I will believe when I see Roger and Rafa do it and not before. Ryoma uses a ball to knock one of the other balls out of the air, which is the international symbol for “do me, Tokugawa-senpai”. Tokugawa looks interested.
To close, here is this week’s cap of Tokugawa looking gratuitously hot.
Next week’s old captain vs new captain matches should be off the hook!