Oh my fucking god, what an episode! I will try to tease out a little crack, but it's going to be difficult to make quota this week.
We open on Ryoma and Kintarou chatting up Tokugawa and Oni. "I'm not into kids," Oni says. Tokugawa looks hot.
You know, one week we aren't going to get a gratuitous shot of Tokugawa looking hot and then we are all going to cry.
Anyhow, Ryoma gives Tokugawa his best bedroom eyes. Oni senses his own date with Tokugawa is about to go off the rails so he turns his attention to Kintarou, whom I'm assuming is his illegitimate son. Or possibly grandson. Tokugawa is silently hot some more. (Ryoma clearly has a type.) "Ten minutes," he says.
"So, twice, then," Ryoma says.
Meanwhile, Atobe is being non-silently hot as he prepares to play Hiyoshi. Just to make sure we really get what this is all about, the camera slowly pans up his body. (This really happens.) We are grateful.
Ohtori wonders if they should start up the Hyoutei cheer but Shishido tells him to save his breath for later when he's really going to need it.
Meanwhile meanwhile, Kaidoh psyches himself up to play against Tezuka. They are both being silently hot, which is lovely to watch but probably explains why I haven't actually written any fic about them yet.
Inui says something that seems to make no sense, probably because he now realizes that the chance of his two main boyfriends cutting out the middleman and hooking up with each other is 99%. (The 1% is if one of them is injured during the match and is physically incapable of sexual activity.)
I think Inui must hate Shin Tenipuri.
Kaidoh is so darling! He is going to learn everything he can from Tezuka. But Tezuka tells him with a look that there is much he plans to learn from Kaidoh as well...
Hiyoshi, on the other hand, plans to win. Oh, honey.
Tezuka starts right off with the supernatural shenanigans, going into that glowy state that's The Pinnacle of Hard Work or some such. "Kaidoh," he says. "Give me everything you've got and make me cry." (He really says this. Except the part about crying.)
Kaidoh is a little shocked since he didn't realize Tezuka was going to be the uke here but he's determined to rise to the occasion.
The matches start. Oshitari remarks that you could cut the sexual tension with a knife.
Hiyoshi takes the first point and seems quite pleased with himself. On the other court, Tezuka actually yells as he hits the ball!!! He's all fired up! Or just badly written!
Momo notes that Kaidoh is playing defensively. I guess that's part of trying to learn from the match. But Tezuka is just pounding him. (He's still the uke, though.) Soon it's 6-0. (Remember, they're playing to 7 points, like a tie-break.)
Atobe and Hiyoshi, though, are at 6-6. Since Inui is still rather shocked and heartbroken and Tezuka is on the court, Fuji takes over the job of Restating the Obvious and telling us what a contrast the two matches are.
During the changeover, Tezuka and Atobe pause to reassure each other that despite any affairs they might be having with their kohai, they will always be first on each other's booty call speed-dial.
Also, they trash talk about whose kohai will win Nationals next year. "Hiyoshi is more beautiful," Atobe says. "But Kaidoh is more squishable," Tezuka retorts. Momoshiro agrees with Tezuka. So do I.
We get some flashbacks to ickle Hiyoshi and ickle Atobe, which we pretty much saw before in that OVA. They are sweet and wee. ♥
Tezuka is still working Kaidoh over and Kaidoh is actually wearing down. Momo gets all hot and bothered over Kaidoh even though they just had sex in the bathroom after Momo's match with Oni. (Which might be one reason Kaidoh is having trouble with his stamina now...)
They are on the last point but Tezuka is using the Zone to pull even balls that should be out back in so he can prolong the rally. (Like that time with Federer and Djokovic at the 2009 US Open.) Even when Kaidoh just stands there, Tezuka hits the ball so it bounces off Kaidoh's racquet.
Atobe and Hiyoshi are at 39 all! Hiyoshi is also being toyed with!
Fuji tells Momo that Tezuka is trying to tell Kaidoh something. And that something is "do me." And Momo will just have to suck it up. Maybe later in Fuji's room.
Kaidoh finally flips out with a "Tezuka teme!!!!" (♥) He gets his, hmm, probably eighth or ninth wind by now and starts playing a much more offensive game. Momo tries to figure out how to trigger that himself later.
Hiyoshi, too, has clued in to what's going on and actually sits down on the court to clear his mind. Apparently, he's too hot-headed while Kaidoh is not hot-headed enough.
Atobe finishes Hiyoshi off with a hametsu e no rondo and a golden glow. And suddenly everyone can hear the cheer "Hyoutei! Hyoutei!" even though nobody is cheering it. Clearly, Atobe had his own sound system installed and instructed Kabaji to play the recording at the dramatic moment. Or maybe that's just his supernatural power. (Or the coaches are fucking with them over the intercom.)
After the match, Atobe smacks Hiyoshi's ass with his racquet which is a hell of a lot cuter than I ever expected Atobe to be. Bless!
On the other court, Kaidoh has unleashed his hidden power. Momo and Fuji have unleashed their not-so-hidden lust. Inui is not pictured. Probably because he's now crying in the bathroom, hoping that Yanagi, at least, will still fool around with him.
I can't remember exactly where in the episode this cap of Kaidoh looking hot was from, but here seems like a good place to put it.
Okay, now we get a flashback that I have most assuredly NOT seen before or I would already be sitting on a mountain of Tezuka/Kaidoh fic.
Tezuka makes Kaidoh run extra laps! (I swear, I almost thought we were going to get a bit of a Guo Guang/Hai Tang moment there!) Tezuka makes Kaidoh work out harder! They are playing a match and Tezuka is yelling at Kaidoh to do better! Kaidoh is running laps around the track and Tezuka is watching him!!!
Kaidoh hits an amazing smash in the current match and Tezuka rewards him with a zero-shiki, ending the match. Kaidoh falls to his knees and laughs because he knows that Daddy loves him.
More flashbacks to Tezuka lecturing Kaidoh in tactics! They are SMILING AT EACH OTHER. TEZUKA AND KAIDOH. SMILING. (These two together remind me a lot of Kurita and Komosubi and the Language of Strong Men in ES21.)
Then Kaidoh finishing his laps. And the bottle of water Tezuka left for him. ♥♥♥
Back in the present, they clasp hands. I tear up. (This really happens.)
Too soon, we're back to Kin-chan and Oni and their crazy tennis. Whatever. Tokugawa and Ryoma are also going at it. Ryoma makes Tokugawa gasp!
And I'm spent. Time for a TezuKai mini challenge, I think! Like where we all decide to write some short TezuKai fics. Who's in?