Halrloprillalar (prillalar) wrote,

Shin Tenipuri Episode 5 Recap-O-Rama

I'm A Loser, Baby, So Why Don't You Kill Me

Hirari and Tenji looking frustrated

We open with those two guys out running, you know, the ones who tried to haze the Seigaku players and were generally dickish and who are only still at the camp because of the pity balls they got from Ohtori. I am strangely fond of them! They will be my Arai and Ikeda substitutes. Once I learn their names... (Tenjin and Hirari?)

They happen upon Kintarou playing tennis with Oni and Tokugawa and Ryoma having sex. Well, playing tennis. Which is a metaphor for sex, except for when it's Kintarou and Oni playing. Then it's a metaphor for playing chequers with your grandfather, which is who we have already established Oni is.

OMG! not!Arai and not!Ikeda say. Which is bascially their function from now on. Poor guys, I think they deserve a side story where they buy a raffle ticket and win all you can eat ramen or something.

Anyhow, Ryoma and Kintarou are winning, which is what caused the "OMG!". Kintarou is hopping and back-flipping all over the court, while doing crazy moves with crazier names. Apparently, he's the love child of Kikumaru and Naruto. (Based on the hair, I'd say Oni is from Kikumaru's side of the family.) He also subscribes to the Momoshiro school of naming special moves, which is to keep adding on superlatives like "Ultra", "Awesome" and "Super" to the beginning.

Ryoma is trying to be cooler than Kintarou by, you know, not adding "Super" to the front of all his special moves. (He's not quite cool enough to know, though, that adding "Cool" in front of move names doesn't actually make them cool.)

Tokugawa is looking hot without even trying. "I had a feeling we would play against each other," he says. "And that feeling was in my pants."

Tokugawa following through after a shot

The coaches are perving on them via cameras in the control room, as usual. I should really learn their names too. Mostly I think of them as "the freakish tall one" and "the one who works out all the time" and "the one who owns the host club with Sakaki". Meanwhile, the clone sub-coaches work at editing the video for streaming on their pay site. (I still have my credit card out, guys.)

Back at the main courts, we get a disappointly small amount of the remaining matches, most of which work out as you might expect.

Sanada walks away after his match with Yukimura

WE WERE FUCKING ROBBED!!! WHY DID WE NOT SEE THIS MATCH!?!?! It was amazing! How could they deprive us? I want to paste in every panel from the manga (chapters 8 & 9, which I would be happy to upload for you if there are any upload services we can still use) but I'll settle for this:

Sanada, looking hot with a bunch of black swirls around him

Sanada, you are hotter than Tokugawa any day of the week. ♥

After that injustice, I don't have much heart to go on, but I'll struggle through because I love you.

We whiz through a bunch of matches, a still here, someone's head getting crushed DISQUALIFIED stamped on it there. Kite outdoes himself in creepiness.

Kite looming and saying 'Kai, you know what's coming'

I kind of want some really filthy doujinshi about these two now. Or about Kite dominating, in every sense of the word, his whole team. And maybe Tezuka too. (I'm sure the coaches have already written some. CREDIT CARD IN MY HAND HERE.)

All of Seigaku gather to worry about Ryoma. Tezuka can sense danger. (His hair is an additional sense organ that picks up changes in the barometric pressure and also when some other guy is macking on his boyfriend.) Strangely, no one wonders if Ryoma has amnesia again, like that time at Nationals. Even Momo, who you'd expect to jump at the chance to make out with Atobe in a helicopter again.

Inui, meanwhile, has troubles of his own, due to catching Ebola from a water fountain some poorly made Inui Juice (or possibly a bad durian).

Inui sitting on the toilet, looking distressed

Live by the sword, die by the sword. (Although, wasn't there some suggestion in the manga that Mizuki had actually poisoned him?) Thank goodness there's lots of toilet paper at least!

Back to the ickle firsties. It turns out that, like chequers with your grandpa, Oni and Tokugawa weren't really trying all that hard. So they step up their game, Oni in fierceness and Tokugawa in hotness. (Also, rainbows [not pictured].)

Tokugawa looking hot, as usual

But as we know, Ryoma has more fun when his back is to the wall. And does Kintarou ever not have fun? Maybe if he were marooned on a desert island and had to eat his own leg to survive. But even then, I'm sure it would be a "Super Ultra Great" leg.

In the other matches, Kabaji is eliminated in a battle with Jirou for Atobe's love. Or maybe Jirou just thought the beds at the facility were more comfortable than at home. Anyway, Atobe's love is clearly all Kabaji's already as Atobe's sad yet stoic expression tells us.

Atobe looking serious

Some random high schoolers (not my darling loser boys!) trash talk Ryoma for running away. Kaidoh and Momo beat them up. Well, no, we're not that lucky. But they do yell at them a bit.

"Everyone," Tezuka says, "bring back my cheating boyfriend!" But really, he already knows it's too late. He's glad he prepped Kaidoh as his back-up boyfriend. Anyhow, he was tired of having to buy cat toys for Karupin before Ryoma would put out.

We do get to see darling Akaya being ruthlessly defeated by Yanagi. Poor lamb! He's been trying to hard to defeat the Three Demons and he's still nowhere near managing it. So, he goes into Devil Mode himself, although I always think that really he just cries until his eyes and face are red.

Devil Mode has no effect whatsoever on Yanagi, who is especially robot-like in this episode. Inui, looking more like a ghoul than a robot, comes out to try his luck with his last possible tennis boyfriend.

Yanagi, realizing that the camp has no relevance to his future as a wealthy stockbroker here's a chance to rekindle the lost love he always regretted letting slip away darling Akaya will benefit from the camp more than he will, forfeits the match. Who knew a robot could be so sweet? We're deprived of the bit from manga, though, where he says, "Come on, Sadaharu, let's go home." (Looking at Inui right now, I can't really blame him.)

Poor Momo's hands give out during his match with Sengoku (who would be one of his boyfriends if he weren't the only straight boy in all Prince of Tennis). Most of Seigaku is watching the match, instead of being out looking for Ryoma like they said they would. Fuji tells Momo not to push it.

"But we made a promise!" Momo says. "We promised the nine of us would see this through!"

"We'll all see it through in our own way," Tezuka says. Yeah, Tezuka, we all know what your own way is. *kicks him* *and one more time for Atobe*

Kawamura plays his boyfriend Akutsu, with predictable results. Akutsu is quite lovely with him, asking if he's taken away Kawamura's dream. But since Kawamura's dream was to settle down in the sushi shop with Akutsu collecting protection money from the rest of the neighbourhood by his side, he has no regrets.

"I was only here to return the favour to that first year brat," Akutsu says, by which he means he's swearing his eternal love to Kawamura. (♥)

I was going to say something here about Taichi trying to cut out his rival, but really he's more like their adopted son, so I won't bother.

Akutsu, Kawamura, and Taichi in yukata at a festival

Taichi has the good luck charm for Akutsu but it won't fit through the fence. "It's too big," he says. "That's what she said," Horio says, but since there are NO WOMEN WHATSOEVER in the world of Shin Tenipuri, nobody gets the joke.

Akutsu does get the charm, however. Only in tenipuri can a scary-faced thug ripping open a wire fence be adorable and sweet.

Akutsu ripping open a wire fence

Meanwhile, Kintarou and Ryoma are defeated and exhuasted. Tokugawa looms hotly over Ryoma, who is lying on the court.

Back at the main courts, the working-out coach announces that Ryoma and Kintarou are disqualified for not showing up. Momo and Eiji protest, but Tezuka tells them to stop. "Echizen cheated on me, so it's his own fault."

Ryoma suddenly realises he's being loomed over by someone much more loomy than Tokugawa. It's the super-tall coach, who asks them if they want to make some money.

What? Do you meant it's not the end for our shounen heros?!?!?

Next week: Mount Doom.

BTW, lots of good prompts at the Tezuka/Kaidoh mini-fest post! Pick one and write some fic. Don't make me do it all myself!

Crossposted: http://prillalar.dreamwidth.org/497205.html

Tags: tenipuri
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