Dungeons and Dragons
We open on the cave and I must say I was relieved to see the poor boys at least had sleeping bags! Now I don't have to get the police involved. However, the stupid cave is so dark, it's hard work out the most important fact: who is sleeping by whom. Even with the brightness way up, it's really hard to tell.
There is a close-up of Sanada and at first I thought that was Ryoma sleeping next to him, which made me go "awwww!" but then later when I changed the levels on the screencap, I thought it was probably Yanagi, partly based on Inui being there too. So then I had to delete a whole paragraph about everyone wanting to sleep by Sanada and having a rock-paper-scissors tournament to determine who it would be and Ryoma just lying down next to him and going to sleep while that was going on.
Well, maybe he's on the other side.
Anyhow, just like medieval monks, they are woken up in the middle of the night for more brainwashing. Because kids that age totally don't need sleep and will completely become better athletes by overworking and not getting enough to eat.
Also, it's raining.
I'm having a hard time finding Kaidoh in the crowd outside the cave. Possibly he and Momo are still in there, somewhere in the back, and Momo was being so distracting that they didn't hear the Hermit Coach banging and yelling. At least that gives me something to think about.
Ryoma, Kenya, and Tanishi are selected by the coach for a "Special Mission", which, frankly, could be anything from sweeping out the cave to becoming part of tomorrow's stew. They agree, since it was in the script, and wander back through the cave with a torch, totally surprising Momo and Kaidoh and throwing Momo pretty badly off his game. Not to mention Kaidoh was already pissed off because he wanted to sleep next to Sanada.
But back to the random trio: they find an instruction letter outlining their mission. Tanishi reads it, only it seems he's been hiding a terrible secret: he can't read. (Or maybe he's just annoying Kenya for fun.) Kenya makes Ryoma read it instead.
The mission: sneak back into the U17 camp, kill the winners in their sleep, and take their places. But since Ryoma's kanji comprehension is pretty bad, being American and all, they think they are supposed to pick up tennis balls and soap. 50 bars of soap. (Maybe they are doing soap carving at craft time.) Also, sake for the coach.
"This letter will self-destruct in five seconds," Ryoma reads. (This really happens.) Being kids, they believe this and cower, waiting for the explosion. Instead, they are chased by bats. A lot of bats. One of the bats bites Tanishi in the bum, necessitating a course of painful rabies shots which he does not get, thus setting up some future hijinks and hilarity! Or maybe he'll become a vampire.
They flee the bat swarms instead of slaying them, which is going to put a dent in their XP for the night.
Next in the dungeon crawl, they have to cross a rushing underground river. Tanishi, the wizard, hasn't prepped Fly or Gaseous Form (because he can't read) so they have to hop across on stones. Kenya tosses their torch in the river
For a ranger, Kenya turns out to have a pretty crap reflex save. He runs on the water (this really happens) for all he's worth, but falls in anyhow, pulling Tanishi, who pulls Ryoma, and they are all swept away under the water.
Meanwhile, back on the mountain, we have no idea what is happening because we never get to see. They could be having a giant orgy or battling dinosaurs or making mini pizzas for all we know. We do know one thing, though: whatever the activity, Sanada is awesome at it. ♥
Our brave adventurers surface inside the camp and commence to breaking in. There are security guards and dogs and such. Kenya actually suggests that this has nothing to do with tennis or training so they shouldn't risk it! Give that boy a gold star!
But Ryoma is Ryoma and he won't lose to anyone, so they head in. A statue of a dog takes surveillance footage of them for Stringbean Coach. They get the soap and balls. Only the sake remains...
And who should we see wandering the halls, but darling Akaya! He's got sore shoulders, due to the "sadist" Tsuge and his special rope bondage training.
He comes across some highschoolers practicing a spell (since they can actually read). Apparently, the camp is haunted and the spell will keep the ghost away. The spell has both verbal and somatic components and Kirihara, being more of a barbarian, thinks it's rather useless.
Back at the dungeon crawl, our intrepid trio has to pass through a gauntlet of security cameras without being seen.
Yeah, that's what I thought too.
Anyhow, the real camera is in the ceiling vent and Stringbean is watching them closely in order to playtest the scenario for the LARP he runs on weekends.
There's a locked door, but the code is in a CAPTCHA on the wall. So, they fill it in and get through the door, happy at their success. WHY ARE THEY NOT SUSPICIOUS. They don't even check the door for traps!
And now, the final corridor before the bar lounge, where treasure awaits. Laser beams criss-cross the hallway, forming an impenetrable barrier between them and the booze. (Apparently, a lot of the high schoolers used to get drunk at night before they put that in.)
Kenya tries to get through the beams while Ryoma tells him what bodyparts to put where. It looks kind of like solo Twister. But it's no use -- Kenya's just not flexible enough and Ryoma doesn't have enough topping experience.
Kirihara, meanwhile, sees the ghost omg!!! (The ghost being Kenya's shadow and weird remarks.) Now Kirihara ain't afraid of no ghost. Because what would Sanada-fukubuchou say about someone who was scared of a ghost? But just in case, like if some loser like Tezuka were to show up and be scared, he uses the spell.
The trio recognize Kirihara's voice and conclude that he's been driven crazy by the training, even though he was clearly crazy already. (Perhaps they are projecting their own incipient madness onto him...)
Then Ryoma, Our Hero, solves this puzzle just like he solved all the rest of them: the spell is really a list of the movements they need to do to get through the laser maze. (Or maybe it's just one of the cheerleading routines the winners have been forced to learn.)
Ryoma and Kenya do a little dance, make a little love, and get down tonight, leaving Tanishi behind, because they forgot the cardinal rule of dungeon crawling: Never Split The Party.
I'm serious. Never do that.
The lounge is filled with booze, but they zero in on the food in the refrigerator instead: ham, sausages, salami -- the Salted Meats food group, which is the best of all food groups. No bacon, though, which causes me to shed a tear. They loudly enjoy the food and Kenya even lets loose with an "Ecstasy!" which causes Shiraishi to blink awake in confusion.
Tanishi's rabies starts acting up and he charges right through the laser beams, which causes alarms to go off and people to wake up. (Shiraishi, of course, was already awake.)
You know who wasn't in bed?
♥ He is the Ultimate Hard Worker, after all, and without even any brainwashing coach to threaten him with death and cannibalism. Or maybe this is the only time he can train without
And then there's this.
Horio (♥), Taichi, and that Rikkai unicorn kid are sleeping at the camp! Clearly, Horio's
Another treat for us!
Tokugawa is up late for midnight spin class. He smiles, sensing his beloved Ryoma is near. (Tezuka, however, is not pictured.)
So, the alarms are going off and the trio figures they better grab the
They return to camp for the Boss Fight and watch gleefully as the Hermit Coach chugs the Inui Juice. Ryoma is so looking forward to the inevitable result that he's all flushed! (He's been really super cute this episode -- too bad Tokugawa missed seeing him!)
But all that happens is the coach confiscates their meat.
Next week: 99 Luftballons!