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Kindness to Animals

Note: This is not a real story. It is social commentary. Or maybe badfic. Anyway, it's widget285's fault.

Kindness to Animals

One day, Jack went out to get a quart of milk from the corner store. It was raining, so he took his SUV.

When he came out of the store with the milk, he saw a big black dog sitting on the pavement. Its fur was all matted and it had big sad eyes.

"Hey there, boy," Jack said and patted the dog on the head. The dog whimpered and feebly wagged its tail. Jack figured that the dog was a stray since it had no collar, so he took it back with him in the SUV.

At home, he gave the poor dog the steaks that he had planned to grill for him and Daniel, when Daniel came over for supper later. Jack secretly loved Daniel, but he knew that he could never say so. They hung out a lot, though.

Jack made pasta instead and when Daniel came over, they sat down to eat it. But Daniel had trouble because he kept sneezing. Then he noticed the dog, who had just come in from the living room. Jack fed the dog some pasta.

"I'm allergic to dogs," Daniel said and sneezed again.

Suddenly the dog turned into a man with long shaggy black hair! "Sorry," the man said.

Jack and Daniel both stared and Jack started planning how he could sidle over to the counter and grab the knife he had used for chopping the mushrooms.

"Who are you?" Daniel said.

"I'm Sirius Black," the man said. "If you could just let me hide out here for a little while..."

"I really don't think so," Jack said.

"See, I'm on the run from evil wizards," Black said.

Jack rolled his eyes, but Daniel looked interested.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. "Don't answer that," Black said. He pulled a stick out of a pocket and pointed it at the door.

Jack didn't feel very threatened so he went to the door. There was a man there. "Excuse me," the man said, "but is there a big black stray dog here?"

"There used to be," Jack said. "Now there's just some crazy guy."

Black pushed past Jack. "Remus!" he said.

"Sirius!" the man at the door said and they fell into each others arms for a long kiss.

"I guess you two know each other, huh," Jack said.

"Thanks for looking after Sirius for me," Remus said. "How can we repay you?"

"Maybe a couple of steaks..." Jack said.

"I think I know," Sirius said, with a twinkle in his eye. He pointed the stick at Daniel and then at Jack and said some words that Jack didn't understand but probably Daniel did.

Next thing Jack knew, he and Daniel had their arms around each other and they were kissing. It was a really hot kiss. When they stopped to breathe, Daniel said, "I love you, Jack."

"I love you too, Daniel," Jack said and hugged Daniel tightly. He was so happy! It always paid to be kind to animals.


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Could you take your brain out and let me have a peek inside? I promise to return it relatively unmashed. Seriously. I need to see what goes on in there. *g*

Hee! Lessee, it went something like this. "God, those SG badfic stories with dogs in them are soooooooo bad. I should write some badfic with a dog that gets Jack and Daniel together. Ooooh, I know a good dog to use!"

See? Perfectly normal.

(Deleted comment)
True love! It brings a tear to my eye.

Dammit I was so going to stay out of HPfic and now you've got me reading it... Well, the Sirius/Remus anyway (I'm not going to go into all the icky pairings people seem to love nowadays, unless someone's willing to explain *why* to me).

You've done it again :)

Sneaky, isn't it? I think there's about as much Sirius/Remus badfic as there is Jack/Daniel, so they're clearly all made to be crossed over.

Jack secretly loved Daniel, but he knew that he could never say so. They hung out a lot, though.
Which sums up about 85% of the fic at Area52.

While I find this little fic incredibly funny, I'm afraid it will get into the wrong hands, and people will now write "Daniel is an animagus" fic. I'm actually surprised that it hasn't happened so far. So if next time I dare to read the Gateway ML, there is suddenly a number of stories with titles like, "Daniel - My life as a dog", "Daniel - a cat goes through the gate" or "Daniel the Reindeer - a christmas story", I will - of course - blame you. *g*

Ooh, you have good thoughts! But I think you should be the one to write Daniel the Reindeer - a christmas story, since it was your idea. We'll get someone to illustrate it and it will be a classic fable in no time.

*beams proudly*

Who says Bad!Fic can't be a force for good? Not only does it provide mocking possibilities and general amusement, but it even becomes a source of inspiration from time to time.

And this is *still* way more plausible than the talking to animals fic!

*beams proudly*

You're my muse!

And this is *still* way more plausible than the talking to animals fic!

Yes, because that's just made up and Harry Potter is true.

I love your badfic. That is all. =)

Oh! I want to send this to my family. They're always after me about taking in strays, mostly cats. I only wish one of them would turn into McGonagall.

How cool would that be? Only she'd probably hit me with a memory charm before she left.

So, really, it could have already happened...


Oh God... crossover insanity!

I hope I've got it out of my system now. *g*


So incredibly funny. I'm all with the giggling now.

Yay for giggling! And the True Pure Love of JackandDaniel and RemusandSirius.

Heehee! I love the twinkle in Sirius's eye, it made me think of matchmaker!Dumbledore.

Hah! I didn't think of it like that, but you're so right. God, matchmaker!Dumbledore squicks the hell out of me.

I always knew it was just a matter of time before Daniel made Jack his bitch. Woof!

It was his dogged determination, no doubt. *g*

Hee! My first SG fanfic ever! And such a nice way to start. :)

Thank you!

Hee! We'll ease you in. Glad you enjoyed. :)

Even though I know nothing about Stargate...HAHAHA! :D

Badfic is badfic is badfic, really. *g* Just in HP fic you usually don't get random helpful animals because there are already so many canon helpful animals and animagi.

omg. LOL

and it's got that wonderful 'and then' 'and then' feel to it too :)

well done!

Hey, thanks! "And" is my favourite word, I think. *g*

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