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You can call me Hal.

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The Internet is scary and it's all my fault.

I was checking my web stats tonight; I got some "hobbits aren't gay and may God have mercy on your soul" feedback and I wondered if I was linked from somewhere new and exciting. I wasn't, not especially (unless you count the WB Harry Potter discussion boards. eep!) so I had a look at search terms.

And lo! I found that when you google "effects of dehydration", the third result listed is my Narnia slash story.

May God have mercy on my soul.

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A few weeks back I was at work and someone asked me what the name of a particular song was (it was some popular alternative song). I couldn't think of it, so I googled a line from it. And the very very FIRST result... was a Harry/Draco slash fic.

That still boggles me.

People will just have to learn to put "-slash" in their search terms. *g*

wait... hobbit's *aren't* gay????

Neither is Captain Jack Sparrow, if you go by my feedback. OTOH, I was flamed for *not* slashing Harry and Draco in one story, so clearly *they* are gay.

Just because Captain Jack is a drag queen doesn't make him gay.

Or the fact that he's stranded on an island with a woman and they both get drunk and he decides the thing to do is dance and sing.

Or ...

Wait a sec.

Yeah, he's gay.

Next thing you know, they'll be trying to tell us Mulder isn't gay either.

Yeah, like there's ANYTHING Mulder wouldn't sleep with.

Just because hobbits kiss each other goodbye in tragic, teary ways and hug each other when they're naked, it doesn't mean they are gay. However, when you throw in the threesome living in Bag End? Gay as a bunch of peonies. *snif*

Well, really, the hobbits aren't gay. They just like to have sex with each other. Unless *that* makes them gay. Hmm. *g*

That reminds me of the Kids in the Hall sketch where Butch, Riley, and Smitty are discussing whether or not they're out to their parents. Butch says he's not out because he's not gay. They stare at him and he says, "I'm just really sexual."

Just out of curiousity, who do you slash in Narnia?

Of course, I could read the story....

Hee! It's a pretty mild Caspian/Eustace.


Don't worry; if God decides not to have mercy on your soul, there's plenty of room in the slasher's luxury suite in That Very Special Hell. You're more than welcome to stay there.

Fabulous! I'll get writing more depraved hobbit porn right away. Oh, wait, I never did write any depraved hobbit porn. It was all very, very mild. But I'm sure there's enough other depravity on my website to get me in.

Well, if there isn't, consider this carte blanche to cook up some more. After all, you wouldn't want to be the only one in the suite who's only mildly depraved. In fact "be more depraved" would make for a fine new year's resolution, dontcha think?

I have the Narnia archive protected from spidering ... I think ... I hope, LOL. Since the Lewis estate has been sending out C&Ds. If you are able to google the archive URL, let me know - I'll have some tags to adjust.

It doesn't show up on this particular keyword, anyhow. :)

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